About ten years ago, Superman and I were living in Sacramento, California. We had a great house on a 1/2 an acre, with an awesome kitchen, a pool, and plenty of room to grow. We had two boys, both about two years old.
But we knew we didn’t want to be there forever. We loved our house, but we didn’t love the area. After a break in and assault at a different house in that same general neighborhood, and the climbing crime rate, we just knew we didn’t want to raise our boys there. But I loved my house.
We decided to do a nationwide search to find the best church possible to raise our kids in. We looked in the south, we looked in other states, we looked around California. Superman even flew to Texas and went to some churches and neighborhoods we had researched online. But then we discovered Bayside Church and the moment we walked on campus, we knew we were home.
Superman told me he felt we should sell our house, rent an apartment near Bayside for a year or so, and find the area we wanted to settle in. As simple as that sounds, it was hard for me. Again, I loved my house. The thought of moving into a small apartment with our two very rambunctious boys from a 2500-square-foot home on a 1/2 acre sounded scary. Some family members told us that if we sold our house and rented for a year, we’d never be able to get back into the market again, because prices would have increased too much.
I could have responded to Superman by throwing a silent hissy fit and saying I didn’t want to move to an apartment. I could have become bitter and resentful and angry with him. I could have said I would go along with his plan on the condition that he did something for me…But instead, I trusted him. Superman is probably the most spiritually mature man I know. He is gifted with wisdom, and as much as my heart hurt leaving our home and moving to a place I didn’t want to, I trusted that it would all work out in the end.
I jumped in with both feet, never complaining or arguing over how awful it was going to be trying to keep two toddlers quiet in an upstairs apartment, where a childless couple lived right below us.
A few months after moving into the apartment, Superman told me he wanted to give me something. He told me to get in the car, and we drove to the mall.
I had no idea what he was going to do: buy me some clothes? Something from the food court?
He took me to a jewelry store and before we went in, he said, “Shanti, I want you to know how much I appreciate you giving up your home, and trusting me enough to move into an apartment for an indefinite amount of time without complaining once. I want to get you a ring so that you can always remember how much it means to me that you would give everything up without knowing what the outcome would be. And I want you to remember how much I appreciate you submitting to me.“
I was stunned.
Superman is not a romantic person. He never surprises me. Ever. I couldn’t believe that he would extend such a deeply romantic, heartfelt gesture to me.
And within just a few short moments, I found the ring:
Rubies are my birthstone, so I was giddy when the ring I loved the most already had rubies! It meant the world to me then, and it still does now. Every time I look at it, I remember that conversation in front of the jewelry store, and how much my man appreciates the fact that not only do I support him, but I trust and respect him 100%.
Friends, I don’t share this with you as a means of bragging or making myself sound like the perfect wife. I share it because I want to tell you something:
Our husbands need our trust. They need to know we will follow them where they lead. Of course, you should give him your input and share your feelings with him. But it’s his job to take that input and make a decision. He is the leader of the house. There can’t be two leaders; it just won’t work. If his decision ends poorly, that’s his burden to bear. Of course, you may suffer, too, but such is is our calling as wives.
My ring not only reminds me of Superman’s love for me, it reminds me of the sacrificial love I should have for my God: He sent his one and only Son to die for my sins. I should follow him without questioning, without conditions, without resentment or bitterness. I should trust Him. I should look to him as my leader. I should honor him and respect him and believe that He has my well-being at the forefront of his mind. And when I do, when I follow my God with my whole heart, I experience such deep love and blessings, I cannot even put them into words.
Friends, my prayer is that you experience this deep love. I pray that we are able to cast aside all our tendencies to control and manipulate, and that we will approach our Father in Heaven with open hands and open hearts. That we would submit ourselves to Him wholly, not conditionally.
Get yourself a ring. It can be a cheap ring. But wear that ring as a reminder of our call as daughters of the King to trust Him completely with our lives. Each morning, when you wake up, look at it and jump into your day with both feet, never complaining or arguing. And follow Him. No matter where he calls you, go. You will be pleasantly surprised where you end up.