Today I posted THIS on my Facebook page.
I quickly lost 20 followers.
I briefly thought, “Maybe I should apologize and tell people I didn’t mean to offend them.” After all, I’m a recovering people-pleaser and hate to feel that I’m excluding anyone. But then I realized I can’t apologize for something I believe in. If I do apologize, do I truly believe it?
I believe in Adam & Eve. I believe the Bible, and that we were created to live in a perfect world, which was unfortunately lost as the result of a bad choice. I believe God made man first, then woman. I believe God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18) And I believe that God created women to be “helpers” for men.
But “helper” may not mean what you think.
The Hebrew word for “helper” is “ezer,” and is a combination of two roots, meaning “to rescue, to save”, and “strength”.
Ok, wait. So it doesn’t just mean we have to wait on our husband, day in and day out? Ezer describes aspects of God’s character – he is our strength, our rescuer, our protector and our help! And ezer was the Holy Spirit’s choice of word to describe the first woman. Eve was someone who would provide valuable and vital strength and assistance to Adam. (Source)
So, “helper” doesn’t just mean we’re at our husbands’ beck and call, it means we are of valuable strength and assistance to them. That’s huge, ladies. Huge.
You are vitally important to your man’s success. He needs you.
I know I’m probably rubbing a lot of people the wrong way here. In our society, not only are us women considered equal to men, but we are offended if we’re told we can’t do something better than a man. Especially nowadays, girls are taught to go into marriage with the expectation that their husbands will share “traditional” responsibilities and that men should be expected to be able to do everything a woman can do in the home.
First of all, why is it a competition? The Bible doesn’t say that women aren’t capable of doing what a man does. Nowhere does it say that. I believe men and women have equal rights, are loved by God equally and that God isn’t more proud of one than the other. We’re not supposed to be climbing over each other to get to the top. God put a hierarchy in place for our own benefit. When men and women are fulfilling their roles correctly, there is a peace and harmony that exists. It is the ideal. Ephesians 5:23 says, “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church…” Now that is going to make some people mad, and I’m sorry. I really am. But I’m talking to fellow Christians, here. I’m talking to people who believe the Bible. I don’t expect someone who isn’t of the same faith as me to follow the same rules as me. That would be ludicrous. Now, do I think everyone could benefit from more clearly-defined roles in marriage? Yes, I do. I think defining roles would prevent a lot of unmet expectations in marriage. If everyone knows what their duties are, doesn’t that just make things run more smoothly? Now, back to that verse. Women: yes, you are called to submit to your husbands. But your husband is to love you as Christ loved the Church. (Ephesians 5:25) And most importantly, we are to submit to each other (emphasis added) out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)
Honestly, I don’t want to be the man. I’m glad I’m a woman. I don’t feel inferior because my husband has the ultimate authority in our house. I don’t feel like a doormat because my husband brings home the bacon and I cook it up. It’s an honor. I don’t think there is anything I could be more proud of than knowing that I am doing what God called me to do–be a helper for my husband.
Now, I know there are some people who are reading this and yelling in their mind, “Well, if I had the luxury of staying at home I would!” I’m not just talking about jobs, here. Sometimes life happens, and we women have to step up to help support our family. If your husband is ill and can’t work, don’t you think it would be a wonderful “helper” thing to go out and do what is needed to help support your family? There’s nothing wrong with that. But that doesn’t mean you should come home and take charge of your household. It’s your man’s job to be the head of the house, not yours.
Ultimately, women, we are helpers.
We are strength. We are encouragers. We are the wind in our husband’s sails. We need to stop feeling like we are inferior or throw a hissy fit because a man opens the door for us or wants a wife to cook and clean for him. We should be proud of our calling and want to shout from the rooftops that we find true joy in being our husbands’ helpers.
I can’t apologize for submitting to my husband. And I hope you don’t feel the need to, either.
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